After a successful day of textual analysis with my 4th hour class, I was ready to bask in the sunlight of the spring afternoon while driving off to get some fresh sushi for lunch. Suddenly I was stopped by the school's secretary, who needed to inform me that a certain student's mother called with high concerns.
Concerns about her daughter being bullied.
I could feel my brows furrow uncontrollably as I experienced high levels of both confusion and disappointment. As my heart sank to the heels of my feet, any previous thoughts I've had went completely blank. Suddenly a barrage of questions barreled through my mind like a train rushing at full speed. This happened in MY classroom? How have I not noticed what was going on? How could I be so careless and naive? WHY WASN'T I BEING RESPONSIBLE?!
I blamed myself so much for letting it get this far. It really affected me personally knowing that I was not more aware of my classroom environment and the malicious intent students had against one another. Yet, I decided to clear my mind and approach the situation in the most professional manner possible. I pulled the targeted student aside from the class during an appropriate time and asked her in private what had happened in our classroom. The troubled look in her eyes said it all and she barely had to explain the situation before I knew what needed to be done. She was sent to the office to file a report while I confronted the entire class on the issue of bullying. A few snarky students decided to act up and take the whole situation as a joke, and my passive demeanor went dead at that moment. It was addressed that the disrespect to one another will no longer be tolerated and that those who choose to continue the malicious sport will face severe consequences. Smirks remained that day, but soon disappeared as suspensions and phone calls home were made. Though the situation was taken care of, I still felt very unsatisfied with my part in this whole fiasco.
As educators, we carry such a heavy load on our back due to our countless responsibilities. But we cannot neglect the safety of our students at any given time. Research from CrisisTextLine.org has indicated that one-fourth of students from grades K-12 have reported that they have been harrassed and/or bullied for reasons including race, ethnicity, gender, religion, sexual orientation, or disability. These kids need to be worried about their next math exam or who they're planning on taking to the school dance--not the safety of their well-being in school. It's our job as teachers to safeguard every students' learning environment and to prevent these kinds of situations from escalating into a more dangerous outcome. Be aware. Be brave. Be ready to stop bullying before it's too late.
Lucky,
ReplyDeleteFirst, let me say, sir, that your blog was very moving. The narrative style in which you wrote your experience gave your piece vitality--a beating heart. It felt very personal and very connected. I want to congratulate you on an excellent piece of writing.
Second, I think you handled the situation very well. I can't imagine the butterfly-horrible-pit-of-the-stomach feeling that you must have had when the secretary told you about the girl's mother calling. What a shock! I am concerned, though, that you took so much blame upon yourself.
As student teachers, we are coping with so many factors at one time that we do not yet have much experience with. It takes time, practice, and lots of patience and reflection to achieve the kind of observant nature that our cooperating teachers have, and, after only 3 1/2 months of real hands-on teaching, we cannot expect our powers of observation to be at the same level. That said I am 100% sure that I would have felt the same way, and I agree with you that it must be a priority when we are observing our classes. We must be vigilant in noticing the signs of bullying.
The end of your blog post was inspirational. I am proud of your dedication, your passion, and your concern for the well-being of your students. It shows in everything you do; this post is just further proof. You have my agreement in this matter; more importantly you have my respect and support. Thank you, Lucky, for this compelling narrative.
Lucky,
ReplyDeleteAs natural as it may feel to blame yourself for "allowing" this to happen in your classroom, you must remember that middle school aged children are just plain crappy to each other most of the time. It is extremely difficult to spot a bullying situation amid the torrential downpour of crass and mean spirited banter that fills the building each day.
That being said, your response to this particular situation was very professional and likely very effective. Our students need to be reminded regularly of the importance of treating others with respect, following the rules, and exercising discretion. I liked the part in your post when you said it is"our job as teachers to safeguard every students' learning environment and to prevent these kinds of situations from escalating into a more dangerous outcome." I 100% agree! We may be the only positive influence in our students' lives. Their parents may be bullies. Their siblings and friends might be tolerant of bullying. We must never be tolerant. We must be proactive in keeping that kind of garbage from happening under our watch whenever we can. Well done my friend! Thanks for sharing.
Lucky, as always your blog entry was captivating and moving. Incorporating details that seem to fully express your deepest thoughts and feelings about a particular situation, and in this case a situation that EACH of us will experience, is both effective and comforting.
ReplyDeleteAs Krystal and Erich have both pointed out, this is an unfortunate situation and your response or way of handling it was absolutely appropriate. One thing I did begin to think of was the response from bullies AFTER the punishments begun. From your description, the victimized student was the only one sent out of the room, therefore making her chances at anonymity slim. This encouraged me to think of ways I could help to further retain a students anonymous standing and all I have thought to do is ask the student to make a report outside of class time, or at least not the same day you (I) do a lesson/lecture on bullying.
Inappropriate or offensive remarks is definitely something I address in my classroom, but it has never gotten to the point of a student needing to file a report. Thank you for you post, for it has motivated me to do some personal reflecting..
Thank you & Happy Blogging,
Des!