It's been a week and a half since I have embarked on my journey of full-time, official student teaching. There have been many ups and downs along the way already and one issue I've come across involves my relationship with the students. After spending approximately half of my day with these young adults, how am I expected to not befriend these endearing, pubescent brats? Though some may drive me to the point of insanity, the compassionate teacher within myself has grown to truly appreciate their academic endeavors and individual quirks. I'm feeling pressured to diminish this side of me and to approach a more strict, stoic type of mentality in my teaching.
As I mentally negotiated upon which teaching personality I should sacrifice for the other, all my observations from Core 1 to my current student teaching rushed into my subconscious like torrential rain. I remembered that some of the most defiant students I've observed or worked with in the past were consistently disciplined through dictator-like methods. Yelling, shouting, threats of rotations. If I absolutely disdain being aggressively addressed, why would these much younger individuals appreciate and grow from such treatment? I'm sure that there is a time and place for such actions, but I truly believe that these students act out in class due to the negative environment created within the classroom setting.
So far in the semester, I have placed a great amount of effort into getting to know my students and establishing a decent rapport with them. I would like to avoid raising my voice as much as possible, and the results have been extraordinary. A once disruptive and loud class became calm and well-mannered when I was addressing the proper use of semicolons for bell work. I strongly believe that my use of "please" and "thank you's" have established the idea that I am making a conscious effort to earn their respect. In doing so, they have been responding graciously in return with responsible, civil behavior in class.
It is true that I, as a student teaching candidate, should not try to make friends with the students. Yet, I am doing my absolute best to earn their respect. The difference is clear and from my perspective, worth every effort put forth.
Lucky,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this experience. I completely agree that although we need to be careful not to cross the line into "friendship" with our students, they still deserve the respect of a decent human being. I like that you have made it your responsibility to show them that respect and are being careful not to cross the line into 'friendship'.
Best of luck this semester! It sounds like you are already off to a great start and will be a wonderful teacher!
Stephanie
Lucky,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this tremendously well written narrative. I could totally picture the slow motion interaction between an upset teacher and an unruly student. I have no doubt that you are developing a strong rapport with your students.You are a very likable person. I am sure that your efforts to not yell, scream, or glare are appreciated by your students. I have been making efforts to omit just that kind of reaction from my own teaching tool box. We should leave the yelling to their parents and stick to what we are trained for, educating. Where students are concerned, we must walk the line of being friendly, but not friends.This post makes great sense! Keep up the great work!
Lucky,
ReplyDeleteI can relate to your experience. I built a really good relationship with the class that I observed last semester, but this semester I went in and just started taking over/ teaching and was obvious they tested my boundaries. After one day of hating my life for an hour-and a- half I realized, I have a good relationship, but now I have to set boundaries. They need to begin to see me as the authority figure that I am. So to your answer your question, I would say, you are not there to necessarily be their friend, but that does not mean you cannot be a mentor and have a strong relationship with your students. You’ve heard the term “there’s a fine line between love and hate” well, there’s a fine line between friend and mentor. As long as your students respect your authority, and you are still able to be your self around them then you have an A+ There are times were you can act as a friend, but obviously there are times where you need to gain control of the classroom by maintaining that authority.
You’re awesome!
Lindsey
Lucky,
ReplyDeleteIsn't it interesting how we talk about not being friends with students and keeping the line drawn between professionalism and friendliness, but that there are also times where that line seems to not exist. I was lucky enough to have both semesters with my most challenging class because I am convinced that they would try to manipulate the boundaries this semester (you know how students get once January hits...). That being said, I have learned the most from taking cues from my CT. She is a great model for me because her behavior does change depending upon the age, number, and familiarity with students. I try to maintain the same level of professionalism with the same groups of students, and when I'm alone with a student who seems to "trust" me more than my CT, I try to guide the discussion in the direction of care and concern, not blame upon my CT for "not understanding."
I enjoyed your post. It's great food for thought for all incoming student teachers!
Lindsay
This is a very thoughtful article Lucky. Personally, I agree with you. It is possible, however, to be a friendly, caring adult without being a "friend." Perhaps this is the distinction you are seeking. Yes, discipline (which doesn't necessarily mean yelling), but do it because you care about the future of your students and you want them to learn. They will respect you for it.
ReplyDelete