Giving Thanks

Please allow me to take a deep breath and exhale slowly to release all tension developed from the heavy amount of stress endured from the start of my venture as a teaching novice to becoming a legitimate student teacher. I find myself letting out a slight chuckle whenever I reminisce about those caffeine-infused, sleepless nights I've withstood due to those dreaded FERs (Field Experience Research). My heart used to write uncontrollably at the mere thought of teaching a ten minute lesson, but now I've developed a sense of comfort and satisfaction standing in the front of a classroom. From the rambunctious little six graders to the swagged out high school juniors, I've always responded with a smile across my face and my tie cinched in a tight Windsor knot.

In accordance with the holidays, I consider it fitting to be thankful for all the individuals who've supported my progress as a future educator. From my warm and devoted university supervisor to the wacky classmates I've come to call my family, I cannot express my endless amount of gratitude in helping me to discover my teaching potential. Yet, I feel that there are some people I'm disregarding.

My students.

In the past, I've scanned hundreds of pages encompassing theoretical teaching knowledge while constructing plenty of essays in reference to adolescent literacy. Though I value all the textbook knowledge obtained in this past year, actually being in the classroom and establishing a rapport with the many students I've encountered has elevated me to the educator I am today. They've taught me how to deliver lessons in ways that are both meaningful and relevant to their personal needs. I've observed them and gained insight on the benefits of being both compassionate and patient. I know that I've done something right the day I received piles of hand-written thank you cards upon leaving for another placement. So for Thanksgiving, what can I do that provides more than a little sugar rush for my current 8th Grade Language Arts students?

Well, I've decided to thank each and every one of them with personalized, hand-written notes. I've grown quite attached to these particular students and I value what each one has offered to me in my professional development. Each of these notes will include my appreciation of their hard work in the classroom, but also gratitude in allowing me to establish those personal connections. Whether they've demonstrated critical thinking skills during my lessons or have simply made me laugh on a bad day, I want each of them to know how much they've impacted me. I've heard that a good teacher can make the biggest difference in a student, but I wouldn't be the educator I am now without those amazing students.

Forget what I said about the sugar rush; I'm still giving them candy with those notes. CANDY!


"What is wonderful about great literature is that it transforms the man who reads it towards the condition of the man who wrote it."
-E.M. Forster

No Regrets

As the chilling air of October 29th diffused across the town, I laid in my bed with the comforting warmth of my blankets and sheets. Though I was on the verge of sound slumber, I couldn't help but feel miffed with the events to arrive when the light of dawn eventually penetrates my bedroom windows. It's what I've been dreading for weeks now, and I am mere hours away from the clutches of redundant PowerPoint presentations and repeated theoretical knowledge. I winced and cringed as I mustered up the strength to embrace the undeniable circumstances to come; I have to attend the Kansas Association of Teachers of English, or KATE, Conference.

With my apprehensive and stern nature already established for the day, I walked into the building with my tie knotted just right while donning my favorite blazer to provide a look of professionalism. It was to hide my indifference for the day to come, but by golly, I feel absolutely silly for my severely arbitrary misconceptions on that Thursday morning. Whether they were professional speakers or newly hired educators, I was surrounded by so many people who were just as enthused as I about the field of teaching.

The KATE Conference was an amazing experience in which I was able to gain so much information and insight from. I've become so accustomed to the continuity of my college classrooms and middle school placement that I've disregarded the value of attaining expert advice from real, experienced figures in the teaching profession. I appreciate how well the conference catered to the guests by making every moment relevant and informative. The first session featured Dr. Howard Pitler, who introduced his audience to the day with his enlightening presentation. The "Three Imperatives of Teaching" was an element he continually referred back to throughout his presentation. It describes how we, as teachers, need to be demanding (1), but supportive (2) while ensuring that our teachings remain intentional (3). As simple as it sounds, I've been attempting to balance those three traits for quite some time. Yet, I am still remaining persistent in the matter due to Pitler's advice to us all; Form a commitment to use these conference ideas to change your classroom experiences. If you do not take the initiative to make some type of change within the next two weeks, you won't experience much change in the future either." 

The various workshops I attended were quite engaging and supportive, due to the well-informed facilitators and experienced teachers surrounding me with high interests in sharing their advice. I gathered information on how to apply crafts and projects into Language Arts, how to activate a student's "writing voice", and approached unconventional ways of teaching Shakespeare. Yet, my favorite workshop revolved around the conjunction of musical lyrics and critical writing. During my year of observations at my previous placements, I used music as a theme to encourage students to write. This workshop expanded on my interests in the subject matter, I felt that I gained a great deal of insight for future teachings. For instance, we discussed how universal themes are important in developing strong writers. Though a student may not necessarily agree with this particular theme, it is imperative that they accept it as a prevalent concept. Gradually increasing the difficulty in identifying universal themes in songs is a great way to set up bellwork while engaging the students in writing.

I could see it now. As I walk into a classroom of rambunctious students, they go silent as they hear "Taylor Swift - Mean" playing in the background. Voices go off, pencils grind against notebook papers, and students critically analyzing the detrimental effects of bullying.

The day's teachings resonated within me, and any reluctance I had previously in attending the conference had far diminished before Pitler could finish his presentation. As I took notes over technology in the classroom and Socratic seminars, I appreciated my presence there and remembered to remain thankful for opportunities granted for my future benefit.

"Fired": A Genre Reflection

The blaring ring of the dismissal bell resonated throughout the vacant halls and fluttered into my cooperating teacher's classroom, announcing the end of today's riveting discussion over chapter three of our short novel. As the eruption of shuffling chairs and adolescent banter faded away towards the hall, I picked up a crumpled hunk of notebook paper abandoned on the floor. Just as I dropped it in the trashcan, a twinkle on the teacher's desk caught my eye. The object of my curiosity was a gleaming, sterling silver picture frame embroidered with crystal-like stones and contained what appeared to be a wedding photo. The heartwarming smiles of the newlyweds were captivating and the sight of their joyous occasion seemed to radiate an air of utter bliss. Within a matter of seconds, I felt a heavy sense of sorrow weighing down on me, and the walls of the classroom dissipated like shifting sand under a storming sea.

My overactive imagination seized control of my senses and I was suddenly transported to a stark empty classroom. The smudge of erased chalk was fresh on the board and the absence of sound created a stifling, gloomy atmosphere. What happened to my favorite poster of Poe's raven quoting, "Nevermore?" Why was my classroom library void of any young adult literature? As I looked down, my arms held a cardboard box containing my personal belongings, my teaching certification, and a photo portraying a marriage between two men.

I was fired for being gay.

I desperately tried to fight off the imbued fog of melancholy and grief growing inside of me, but the heartache was relentless. It is vital for me as an educator to encourage pride in differences and diversity, but I couldn't help but wonder if I would be categorized as the inferior due to an attribute I absolutely cannot control. Would parents pull their students from my classroom once they've caught word of my differences? Would administration determine my qualifications to be unfit for the position once this is brought to their attention? My right to marry has been already been severed from my grasp. So will my dreams to educate young adults also be detached from my future? Just as the coat of tears began to well up, a tap on the shoulder funneled me back to reality. I turned to see one of my favorite students smiling at me from cheek to cheek, and all of my previous woes somehow faded away. He asked me what kind of hair products I use to get it to stick up the way it does.

As the students of fourth period Language Arts settled into their seats, the commotion of rustling papers soothed me while the rugged grinding of dull pencils put my mind at ease. I raised my hand to signify that class was to begin. We sifted through our novels to page sixty-one and my cooperating teacher asked the class where we left off.


"To me, this is the singular privilege of reading literature: we are allowed to step into another's life." 
-Nicole Krauss