Stop Bullying Before It's Too Late

Sometimes I question how I've made it this far without hopping in my car and just driving away from all the madness I've experienced at my placement school. I feel that "baptism by fire" is the most appropriate metaphor for my student teaching experience thus far. Though I experience a moment of weakness from time to time, I've been able somehow retain a strong sense of accomplishment after a full day of teaching. Receiving the hands-on experience has truly prepared me for the real world in ways that the countless pages of textbook knowledge could not. My many successes and missteps have led me to become the more confident educator I am today. Yet last week, I was abruptly hurled into the one aspect of teaching I prayed I would never have to confront.

After a successful day of textual analysis with my 4th hour class, I was ready to bask in the sunlight of the spring afternoon while driving off to get some fresh sushi for lunch. Suddenly I was stopped by the school's secretary, who needed to inform me that a certain student's mother called with high concerns.

Concerns about her daughter being bullied.

I could feel my brows furrow uncontrollably as I experienced high levels of both confusion and disappointment. As my heart sank to the heels of my feet, any previous thoughts I've had went completely blank. Suddenly a barrage of questions barreled through my mind like a train rushing at full speed. This happened in MY classroom? How have I not noticed what was going on? How could I be so careless and naive? WHY WASN'T I BEING RESPONSIBLE?!

I blamed myself so much for letting it get this far. It really affected me personally knowing that I was not more aware of my classroom environment and the malicious intent students had against one another. Yet, I decided to clear my mind and approach the situation in the most professional manner possible. I pulled the targeted student aside from the class during an appropriate time and asked her in private what had happened in our classroom. The troubled look in her eyes said it all and she barely had to explain the situation before I knew what needed to be done. She was sent to the office to file a report while I confronted the entire class on the issue of bullying. A few snarky students decided to act up and take the whole situation as a joke, and my passive demeanor went dead at that moment. It was addressed that the disrespect to one another will no longer be tolerated and that those who choose to continue the malicious sport will face severe consequences. Smirks remained that day, but soon disappeared as suspensions and phone calls home were made. Though the situation was taken care of, I still felt very unsatisfied with my part in this whole fiasco.

As educators, we carry such a heavy load on our back due to our countless responsibilities. But we cannot neglect the safety of our students at any given time. Research from CrisisTextLine.org has indicated that one-fourth of students from grades K-12 have reported that they have been harrassed and/or bullied for reasons including race, ethnicity, gender, religion, sexual orientation, or disability. These kids need to be worried about their next math exam or who they're planning on taking to the school dance--not the safety of their well-being in school. It's our job as teachers to safeguard every students' learning environment and to prevent these kinds of situations from escalating into a more dangerous outcome. Be aware. Be brave. Be ready to stop bullying before it's too late.

Identity Crisis

As my students progress onward from the tender coddling environment of middle school to the intimidating atmosphere of young adulthood in high school, I've noticed that each still struggle to find a solidified concept of their own personal identity. It's a great deal of pressure for any fourteen-year-old child to experience on their own. To help them cope with the battle for individuality and self-acceptance, I put my best effort into cultivating their understanding of the subject with my current unit over identity. The students have gone through the process of reading short stories pertaining to the topic, written formal essays involving the unit's essential questions, and have also been a part of creative projects to illustrate who they are mentally and physically. As each student grew to understand their individual quirks and unique attributes, I slowly began to realize that... well, I don't understand who I am. At least when it comes to teaching.

So am I that nice teacher that revolutionizes the teaching industry through compassionate means and occasional fruit roll-ups for good behavior? Or am I that one with the blood-red eyes, leather whip in hand ready to crack open the face of the next student acting up in class? What if I end up being the teacher who shows up hung over from a night of binge drinking, burnt out and regretting ever stepping foot in a classroom? WHO AM I GOING TO END UP BEING?!

There are so many facets to consider in developing my teaching identity and the construction of my individualism expands far beyond my future classroom policies and management skills. I decided to take matters into my own hands and observe other educators in my placement school to broaden my horizons for one week. I thought of it as my own professional development, where I took notes over each teacher's mannerisms, tone, level of tolerance, and overall confidence in the classroom.

Teacher A had the most ideal teaching persona I could ever hope to imitate in the future. She had a very friendly disposition, while maintaining student engagement without ever having to raise her voice. Teacher A was even able to get a laugh out of the students with a few silly comments, but was able to immediately refocus their attention back to their work. Though a classroom environment can never truly be considered "perfect", Teacher A challenged that myth with her amazing teaching personality and consistent management skills.

The best term to describe Teacher B is 'maternal.' She had a very candid, stern, and slightly sarcastic personality displayed in her teaching style. I imagined all of her students as her very own children. She spoke to them in a strong, direct manner with a minor hint of, "Hey you; I saw that. Pick that up off the floor now." It was easy to see that Teacher B would have absolutely no problem sending a student out of the room for misbehavior, but she balances her strict approach wit ha humorously mother-like mentality.

I saw a great deal of myself in Teacher C. Whether it was his age or the fact that he was a first-year teacher, there were many similarities between the two of us in our own classrooms. He seems to have a very calm temperament and refrains from having to shout over students. His compassionate nature seems to put the students at ease, but they seemed too comfortable. His propensity to remain civil allowed the class to get out of control at certain points and their work ethic slowly declined as class time went on. I guess this was a sign that even first-year teachers struggle to stand firmly at the front of the classroom.

I've been so consumed with lesson planning, my Kansas Performance and Teaching Portfolio, the PRAXIS exam, and all other stressors associated with the final semester that I haven't truly been able to specifically identify who I am in the classroom. I wonder if I will be able to successfully maintain my calm, care-free disposition as a teacher. Then it troubles me to foresee the possibility of blowing out my vocal nodules from consistently yelling at my students. One thing I can clearly say at this moment is that I am slowly, but surely becoming more comfortable in front of the seventy-six students I see each day, every week. My teaching identity may not be clear at the moment, but it's slowly coming together piece by piece. I just have to be patient and open to personal development and new experiences.

Friend or Foe

It all happened in a stagnant manner comparable to the slow-motion scenes you'd see in action films. While monitoring the convoluted river of students passing through the halls, I heard a deafening voice which nearly erupted my ear lobes. As I traced the source of the blaring screams, I see in the distant end of the hallway a teacher yelling at a group of adolescent female students for congregating around the hall for an extensive period of time. One extra defiant student decided to fire back with a combination of angry facial expressions, incomprehensible slang, and unnecessary use of hand gestures. It was as if I was watching two wolves fighting over rightful territory, eyes gleaming with scorn and jaws craving to sink deeply into fresh skin. Observing this little fiasco reminded me of one of many rules established within the student teaching community; do not befriend the students.

It's been a week and a half since I have embarked on my journey of full-time, official student teaching. There have been many ups and downs along the way already and one issue I've come across involves my relationship with the students. After spending approximately half of my day with these young adults, how am I expected to not befriend these endearing, pubescent brats? Though some may drive me to the point of insanity, the compassionate teacher within myself has grown to truly appreciate their academic endeavors and individual quirks. I'm feeling pressured to diminish this side of me and to approach a more strict, stoic type of mentality in my teaching.

As I mentally negotiated upon which teaching personality I should sacrifice for the other, all my observations from Core 1 to my current student teaching rushed into my subconscious like torrential rain. I remembered that some of the most defiant students I've observed or worked with in the past were consistently disciplined through dictator-like methods. Yelling, shouting, threats of rotations. If I absolutely disdain being aggressively addressed, why would these much younger individuals appreciate and grow from such treatment? I'm sure that there is a time and place for such actions, but I truly believe  that these students act out in class due to the negative environment created within the classroom setting.

So far in the semester, I have placed a great amount of effort into getting to know my students and establishing a decent rapport with them. I would like to avoid raising my voice as much as possible, and the results have been extraordinary. A once disruptive and loud class became calm and well-mannered when I was addressing the proper use of semicolons for bell work. I strongly believe that my use of "please" and "thank you's" have established the idea that I am making a conscious effort to earn their respect. In doing so, they have been responding graciously in return with responsible, civil behavior in class.

It is true that I, as a student teaching candidate, should not try to make friends with the students. Yet, I am doing my absolute best to earn their respect. The difference is clear and from my perspective, worth every effort put forth.