"Fired": A Genre Reflection

The blaring ring of the dismissal bell resonated throughout the vacant halls and fluttered into my cooperating teacher's classroom, announcing the end of today's riveting discussion over chapter three of our short novel. As the eruption of shuffling chairs and adolescent banter faded away towards the hall, I picked up a crumpled hunk of notebook paper abandoned on the floor. Just as I dropped it in the trashcan, a twinkle on the teacher's desk caught my eye. The object of my curiosity was a gleaming, sterling silver picture frame embroidered with crystal-like stones and contained what appeared to be a wedding photo. The heartwarming smiles of the newlyweds were captivating and the sight of their joyous occasion seemed to radiate an air of utter bliss. Within a matter of seconds, I felt a heavy sense of sorrow weighing down on me, and the walls of the classroom dissipated like shifting sand under a storming sea.

My overactive imagination seized control of my senses and I was suddenly transported to a stark empty classroom. The smudge of erased chalk was fresh on the board and the absence of sound created a stifling, gloomy atmosphere. What happened to my favorite poster of Poe's raven quoting, "Nevermore?" Why was my classroom library void of any young adult literature? As I looked down, my arms held a cardboard box containing my personal belongings, my teaching certification, and a photo portraying a marriage between two men.

I was fired for being gay.

I desperately tried to fight off the imbued fog of melancholy and grief growing inside of me, but the heartache was relentless. It is vital for me as an educator to encourage pride in differences and diversity, but I couldn't help but wonder if I would be categorized as the inferior due to an attribute I absolutely cannot control. Would parents pull their students from my classroom once they've caught word of my differences? Would administration determine my qualifications to be unfit for the position once this is brought to their attention? My right to marry has been already been severed from my grasp. So will my dreams to educate young adults also be detached from my future? Just as the coat of tears began to well up, a tap on the shoulder funneled me back to reality. I turned to see one of my favorite students smiling at me from cheek to cheek, and all of my previous woes somehow faded away. He asked me what kind of hair products I use to get it to stick up the way it does.

As the students of fourth period Language Arts settled into their seats, the commotion of rustling papers soothed me while the rugged grinding of dull pencils put my mind at ease. I raised my hand to signify that class was to begin. We sifted through our novels to page sixty-one and my cooperating teacher asked the class where we left off.


"To me, this is the singular privilege of reading literature: we are allowed to step into another's life." 
-Nicole Krauss

The Death Of My Teaching Career: Angelic Students

A haze of accomplishment and delight overtook my senses as I watched my 8^th grade Honors Language Arts class conduct a rather compelling Socratic seminar over their latest short story, Rules of the Game.  The discussions were so dynamic and their criticism to one another was delivered both politely and constructively. My cooperating teacher and I had very little to regulate due to the remarkably self-managed nature of these adolescent scholars. All was well, but a moment of realization struck me like an arrow plunging through my skull. Reality dissolved away like caked-on dirt in a car wash and my mind was hurled into an abyss of deception. “This is way too easy,” I thought to myself. “How are these students so easy to manage?” Then it hit me.

These students are setting me up for failure. These hormonally-confused intellectuals are advancing and behaving in such an exquisite manner and I’ve become accustomed to this ridiculously impeccable classroom experience any teaching novice would chop off a limb for! The other classes I’m to manage next semester are going to rip me apart like a savage eagle severing the head off of a feeble little rodent. I’m done. Game over dude. How am I to develop my classroom management skills with such an ideal classroom setting?

           
Rather than lingering in a pit of melancholy, I decided to evaluate both the strengths and weaknesses of my classroom management skills to figure out how to further develop my teaching abilities with the circumstances I’ve been given. I looked to the internet for resources and discovered a link titled “5 Classroom Management Skills Every Teacher Must Have.” The page provides relatively short, yet informal explanations of the five traits deemed necessary to establish discipline, structure, and order within the classroom setting. I read over some very practical information, stopping periodically to analyze the various qualities such as patience and time-management. Though I found all listed characteristics to be just as important as the last, the one trait that stood out to me the most was the very first drafted in the article: authority.

           
A ray of light glimmered in the distance and my pernicious disbelief began to slowly fade away as my eyes scanned across the multiple sentences of the paragraph. It stated that, “In order to be taken seriously by your class, you must be presentable and have an authoritative air about you. When you’re sure of yourself and adopt a positive attitude, it becomes easy to command authority just by the way you look” (Carrie Oakley, 5 Classroom Management Skills Every Teacher Must Have). I’ve always made an attempt to look professional from the knot of my tie to the fabric of my slacks, but what I came to realize was that I’ve been subconsciously projecting an authoritative disposition this whole time by shadowing my cooperating teacher. She established a very structured classroom in terms of regulating policies and expected behavior from day one. In doing so, her classroom management skills are so refined due to the consistent implementation of her policies. By no means is she a red-eyed tyrant with a whip, but she presents herself in a manner which draws out excellence in her students while commanding respect.

Compared to my past two placements, I’ve grown in a way that distinguishes my previous self, Mr. Lucky, to my current standings as Mr. Souvannarath. I’ve realized that I’ve stepped away from the overly-friendly, cool teacher to become a more mature and respectable educator. Without realizing it until now, I’ve already been developing my classroom management skills by helping my cooperating teacher to maintain the studious environment for these gifted little brats. I’ve become attached to these students and they’ve done so much for me, helping me to realize my faults and strong points. They are giving me a standard to uphold and these expectations will definitely carry over to the next semester when Mr. Souvannarath takes over all six classes. Stay tuned folks.


"It is in literature that the concrete outlook of humanity receives its expression."
-Alfred North Whitehead

Fantasy or Reality?

My mind floods with exuberance at the mere mention of folklore and myths. One can't help but revert back to their childish tendencies of believing the unbelievable, allowing their imagination to explore unknown territories of fables and fantasies. It's comical to look back at the days where I believed that I could catch Jolly Old Saint Nicholas by baking NyQuil pills in his cookies to be left on Christmas Eve. My naive perception of the world has progressively diminished over the years and I can say with confidence that I am able to differentiate truth from fiction relatively well.

On rare occasions, I will overhear a discussion from my fellow student teachers or faculty at my placement school banter about the "perfect classroom." The two words in conjunction with one another imply the existence of an educational setting in which both the teacher and the students work so harmoniously with one another, that all errors in every facet of learning become nonexistent. I can say with confidence that this concept is a complete myth. There is no such thing as a perfect classroom, BUT we as future educators must never assume that it is too romantic to attempt anyways.

My cooperating teacher is a fantastic mentor whom I've already gained so much knowledge and insight from within the short amount of time we've spent together. While skimming a few articles online, I discovered that my cooperating teacher was executing a teaching model coined by Fisher and Frey called the release of responsibility. "The release of responsibility model of instruction requires that the teacher shift from assuming all the responsibility for performing a task ... to a situation in which the students assume all of the responsibility" (Fisher and Frey, "Effective Use of the Gradual Release of Responsibility"). While my cooperating teacher's classroom retains a very tight-knit, highly organized structure, I feel that most of the success I witness within the environment lies within her ability to transfer the load of responsibility from the teacher's hands to the students'. She provides the content knowledge and necessary tools to deliver the challenges to our students, where then each individual shows prowess and initiative in controlling their own success in the classroom.

The provided photo demonstrates the variations between the teacher-student relationship and how the responsibility shifts from one to the other.

Referring back to my reminiscent babble of myths, a truly perfect classroom setting in which students learn with synchronized precision and accuracy cannot exist. We are not teaching robots; we are teaching human beings who have the greatest potential to learn while making mistakes along the way. The model created by Fisher and Frey provides a framework for myself and all other student teachers to consider while we attempt to construct not the perfect classroom, but a more realistic learning environment we should actually strive for.

"It is literature which for me opened the mysterious and decisive doors of imagination and understanding. To see the way others see. To think the way others think. And above all, to feel."
-Salman Rushdie