Dear Idiot...

Aww, well look at you; doe-eyed as some low-budget Disney princess with the attention-span of a lightning bolt. In case you didn't catch it yet you simple-minded idiot, those were insults. Just consider it tough love, because you really need to shape up dude. Don't get me wrong. I'm proud of you for discovering a career path that you finally feel genuinely passionate about, but it's crucial for you to understand how difficult this upcoming semester is going to be. Observing in a classroom for three hours a week doesn't compare to being a full-time student teacher. Big dreams inspired by cliche teacher movies in combination with your strange fascination with skinny ties won't determine your success. Understand that this is the reality of the situation and there are so many facets of the teaching industry that you need to prepare for. So just sit back, grab a bag of flaming hot Cheetos, and let all this just sink into that overly-gelled noggin of your's.

Looking back at your body of work so far, I can assess that you absolutely love creating lessons that include fun and exciting activities to keep the students on their feet. I remember those gleaming smiles they had when they deciphered nouns, verbs, and adjectives from that annoyingly contagious 'Happy' song by Pharrell Williams. I also recall how elated you were as you watched them engage in your lesson. That's such a valuable quality to have in a new student teacher, and you have to do whatever it takes to keep that enthusiasm going. Before you get too trigger happy with the warm fuzzies of fun classroom activities, make sure you use the unit's theme and essential questions to help navigate your daily lessons. Though you have good intentions for making your lessons entertaining for the students, the class activities can very easily lead into mindless fun without a clear, intentional purpose.

Take advantage of those pacing guides you'll get from your future cooperating teacher. These documents are amazing, because they'll help align your lessons with state standards while offering some suggestions for text and novel studies. You don't have to follow those pacing guides verbatim, but they will alleviate the stress of coming up with an entire, purposeful unit completely on your own. That'll require a few buckets of fried chicken and a wee bit of alcohol to accomplish. Trust me. So check out those pacing guides, put some further thought into what you want your students to learn overall, and keep that charismatic zeal running at full force. Your students will see the passion and sleep-deprived nights you'll put into those lessons and they'll appreciate all your efforts.

Please listen carefully to what I'm about to tell you next. During the Fall 2014 semester, you'll get to choose one class specifically to work with for about fourteen weeks. DO NOT PICK 4TH HOUR HONORS LANGUAGE ARTS! As a new and innocent pre-student teacher, you'll be tempted to work with these prestigious group of kids. Fight that urge dude! They work so diligently and quietly compared to the chaotic messes you've seen in the past year of observations, but this type of learning environment will not prepare you enough for the war zone you'll be entering for that final semester. They are already intrinsically motivated to achieve all of their academic endeavors. In doing so, you won't gain much experience as a student teacher when you work with them. There will be groups of students who'll talk all hour without any regard to what you'll ask them to do. You'll receive defiant students who've been expelled from other schools for various reasons. Some students will have no problem cursing you out, and for your information-this happens to you on your first day.

How are you going to handle all of this pandemonium if you choose to play on the beginner's level of teaching? My best advice for you is to choose a more difficult class to work with during that pre-student teaching phase. It doesn't have to be the most chaotic class, but one that has a few road bumps to cross. You'll gain insight on how to maintain full engagement with your class while management behavior issues with ease. You know this is your biggest weakness and you cannot run from it. So just embrace adversity from the start and educate yourself on how to handle it with finesse.

Appreciate the education program at WSU and everything it has to offer you. Though a lot of the information you'll be taking in seems to be repetitive textbook jargon, it's provided for a reason. You need to have a professional and knowledgeable disposition to be noticed by influential figures such as administration, colleagues, and your very own university supervisors. Establish a well-developed understanding of the classroom from the textual resources and you'll be better prepared when you'll be standing in front of twenty-two of those demonic adolescents. The more well-informed you are, the more confident you'll feel when it comes time for you to take action.

Keep in mind that the education program goes far beyond endless pages of ethical principles and teaching strategies. You'll see in time that speaking to real professionals in the field will be one of the best ways for you to further develop into the educator you want to be. You'll have seminars and discussion groups that will advise you on how to turn your dream of teaching into a reality when you are forced out into the real world. You'll have university supervisors who are more than willing to support you in every facet of your student teaching year; don't be afraid to seek their advice. Mrs. Roberts and Dr. Cramer are always radiating optimism and you'll need that good juju to keep your spirits high. Oh, spoiler alert: Dr. Mason gets married to this dude named Cramer. It's pretty cute stuff. Back to the point, know that you'll always have assistance and that you're enrolled in a program that wants you to succeed. Seek out answers and you'll be in good hands.

Just be fully aware that the first day of that final semester will be oh so brutal. You'll be both stunned and slightly discouraged with what you'll see from those six rambunctious groups. You'll feel defeated and you may even rethink what you're doing in the education program. Believe it or not, you'll grow to really care for those little jerks and you'll find it nearly impossible to picture yourself in any other field of work. There will be a point where everything will make sense. You'll have this amazing sense of fulfillment you've been yearning for and you'll feel so accomplished upon seeing those kids learn from you. This is the reality of the situation and you'll make a difference in your very own spastic way.

I'm not going to tell you "good luck", because I know how much you hate the pun associated with it. How do I know this? BECAUSE I'M YOU FROM THE FUTURE! AND YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO GRADUATE! I SWEAR DUDE, I PUT IT ON YOUR MOM AND EVERYTHING THAT YOU'RE GOING TO BE DONE WITH IT ALL!

Stop Bullying Before It's Too Late

Sometimes I question how I've made it this far without hopping in my car and just driving away from all the madness I've experienced at my placement school. I feel that "baptism by fire" is the most appropriate metaphor for my student teaching experience thus far. Though I experience a moment of weakness from time to time, I've been able somehow retain a strong sense of accomplishment after a full day of teaching. Receiving the hands-on experience has truly prepared me for the real world in ways that the countless pages of textbook knowledge could not. My many successes and missteps have led me to become the more confident educator I am today. Yet last week, I was abruptly hurled into the one aspect of teaching I prayed I would never have to confront.

After a successful day of textual analysis with my 4th hour class, I was ready to bask in the sunlight of the spring afternoon while driving off to get some fresh sushi for lunch. Suddenly I was stopped by the school's secretary, who needed to inform me that a certain student's mother called with high concerns.

Concerns about her daughter being bullied.

I could feel my brows furrow uncontrollably as I experienced high levels of both confusion and disappointment. As my heart sank to the heels of my feet, any previous thoughts I've had went completely blank. Suddenly a barrage of questions barreled through my mind like a train rushing at full speed. This happened in MY classroom? How have I not noticed what was going on? How could I be so careless and naive? WHY WASN'T I BEING RESPONSIBLE?!

I blamed myself so much for letting it get this far. It really affected me personally knowing that I was not more aware of my classroom environment and the malicious intent students had against one another. Yet, I decided to clear my mind and approach the situation in the most professional manner possible. I pulled the targeted student aside from the class during an appropriate time and asked her in private what had happened in our classroom. The troubled look in her eyes said it all and she barely had to explain the situation before I knew what needed to be done. She was sent to the office to file a report while I confronted the entire class on the issue of bullying. A few snarky students decided to act up and take the whole situation as a joke, and my passive demeanor went dead at that moment. It was addressed that the disrespect to one another will no longer be tolerated and that those who choose to continue the malicious sport will face severe consequences. Smirks remained that day, but soon disappeared as suspensions and phone calls home were made. Though the situation was taken care of, I still felt very unsatisfied with my part in this whole fiasco.

As educators, we carry such a heavy load on our back due to our countless responsibilities. But we cannot neglect the safety of our students at any given time. Research from CrisisTextLine.org has indicated that one-fourth of students from grades K-12 have reported that they have been harrassed and/or bullied for reasons including race, ethnicity, gender, religion, sexual orientation, or disability. These kids need to be worried about their next math exam or who they're planning on taking to the school dance--not the safety of their well-being in school. It's our job as teachers to safeguard every students' learning environment and to prevent these kinds of situations from escalating into a more dangerous outcome. Be aware. Be brave. Be ready to stop bullying before it's too late.

Identity Crisis

As my students progress onward from the tender coddling environment of middle school to the intimidating atmosphere of young adulthood in high school, I've noticed that each still struggle to find a solidified concept of their own personal identity. It's a great deal of pressure for any fourteen-year-old child to experience on their own. To help them cope with the battle for individuality and self-acceptance, I put my best effort into cultivating their understanding of the subject with my current unit over identity. The students have gone through the process of reading short stories pertaining to the topic, written formal essays involving the unit's essential questions, and have also been a part of creative projects to illustrate who they are mentally and physically. As each student grew to understand their individual quirks and unique attributes, I slowly began to realize that... well, I don't understand who I am. At least when it comes to teaching.

So am I that nice teacher that revolutionizes the teaching industry through compassionate means and occasional fruit roll-ups for good behavior? Or am I that one with the blood-red eyes, leather whip in hand ready to crack open the face of the next student acting up in class? What if I end up being the teacher who shows up hung over from a night of binge drinking, burnt out and regretting ever stepping foot in a classroom? WHO AM I GOING TO END UP BEING?!

There are so many facets to consider in developing my teaching identity and the construction of my individualism expands far beyond my future classroom policies and management skills. I decided to take matters into my own hands and observe other educators in my placement school to broaden my horizons for one week. I thought of it as my own professional development, where I took notes over each teacher's mannerisms, tone, level of tolerance, and overall confidence in the classroom.

Teacher A had the most ideal teaching persona I could ever hope to imitate in the future. She had a very friendly disposition, while maintaining student engagement without ever having to raise her voice. Teacher A was even able to get a laugh out of the students with a few silly comments, but was able to immediately refocus their attention back to their work. Though a classroom environment can never truly be considered "perfect", Teacher A challenged that myth with her amazing teaching personality and consistent management skills.

The best term to describe Teacher B is 'maternal.' She had a very candid, stern, and slightly sarcastic personality displayed in her teaching style. I imagined all of her students as her very own children. She spoke to them in a strong, direct manner with a minor hint of, "Hey you; I saw that. Pick that up off the floor now." It was easy to see that Teacher B would have absolutely no problem sending a student out of the room for misbehavior, but she balances her strict approach wit ha humorously mother-like mentality.

I saw a great deal of myself in Teacher C. Whether it was his age or the fact that he was a first-year teacher, there were many similarities between the two of us in our own classrooms. He seems to have a very calm temperament and refrains from having to shout over students. His compassionate nature seems to put the students at ease, but they seemed too comfortable. His propensity to remain civil allowed the class to get out of control at certain points and their work ethic slowly declined as class time went on. I guess this was a sign that even first-year teachers struggle to stand firmly at the front of the classroom.

I've been so consumed with lesson planning, my Kansas Performance and Teaching Portfolio, the PRAXIS exam, and all other stressors associated with the final semester that I haven't truly been able to specifically identify who I am in the classroom. I wonder if I will be able to successfully maintain my calm, care-free disposition as a teacher. Then it troubles me to foresee the possibility of blowing out my vocal nodules from consistently yelling at my students. One thing I can clearly say at this moment is that I am slowly, but surely becoming more comfortable in front of the seventy-six students I see each day, every week. My teaching identity may not be clear at the moment, but it's slowly coming together piece by piece. I just have to be patient and open to personal development and new experiences.